Twilight

So I just read the first Twilight book. I already saw the movie, I think several times, because when it got to country people played it nearly nonstop in the Conakry house TV room as there was always somebody who hadn’t seen it yet.

Book WAY better than movie. In some ways. Like, the book was WAY sexier than the movie. The movie had that ONE kiss and the book has a half dozen or so. And other, sexy, mouth-against-throat sort of moments. Stuff that could be REALLY hot on screen (and still, I believe, PG-13). So I was a bit confused about why the screenwriter (or maybe director) chose not to make the script as sexy.

Also, in the book I find Bella a bit more needy and/or annoying than I did in the movie. In the movie she seemed strong, self-assured, independent. In the book she seems…juvenile. Also Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward, maybe not QUITE as Adonis as the book leads you to believe he will be but the actress that plays Bella, Kristen Stewart, has this strange smoldering sexuality about her that I first noticed from her 15 minutes in Into the Wild. Great casting on THAT front. If I had read the book before seeing the movie I wouldn’t have pictured Bella the way Kristen Stewart plays her but I am glad that I have that to go on in my mind’s eye now because it makes Bella a bit more tolerable.

Anyway. Directly after finishing Twilight, the book, I am all crazy and romantic and thinking about every relationship I’ve had and how NOT Edward all those guys are and how someday I’ll find my Edward and it will be freaking FANTASTIC (if less obsessive…the book is REALLY obsessive…maybe because she’s 17). And then the next book I crack open? “Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys”. I’m an idiot. I was hoping to get a laugh. Now I’m just depressed. “There is no horse.” I got about an hour to think that someday there might be something amazing in life and now I’m back to the old, pessimistic, “dudes are dudes and they’re idiots and self-absorbed and unperceptive and are NEVER going to sweep you off your feet because not only are they too fucking LAZY, but it would never occur to them, because they don’t FEEL the way that women do.”

And I just want a milkshake.