Epic Expedition

Well today I did as planned and went with Alysun to his plantation. What I didn’t know was that it would turn into a five-hour mountain-traversing excursion.

So here’s how it happened. He showed up at my house an hour late (9am), par for the course in Guinea. I told him he was late and he said he had slept in (meaning he missed the 6am first prayer which my friend Ousmane claims he is ALWAYS up for). Then Yogi escaped. And ran straight to the Sous Prefet’s house, where I managed to catch him. The SP’s house is where he stayed for the two weeks I was in Conakry/Haute, and I have taken him there a few times but I still found it funny that he knew his way there and just went straight up to the kids to start playing. Mr. SP was not annoyed. I think he was actually amused. So I caught him.

And carried him all the way back to my house, enduring all the “is that your baby?” and “where is his cord?” comments the whole way, to which I just responded the noncommittal “mm-hmm”.

So we finally got on our way. We stopped by Alpha’s house to get a bag and then walked to the fields with Alpha and my friend the Secretaire (who took me to the reseau spot that one time but whom I haven’t seen a lot of since). The two of them eventually broke off at their fields and we kept going. I didn’t think it would be that much farther BUT IT WAS. So we get to the foot of the mountain, one of the beautiful, sheer-faced mountains that surround my village and we start going up it. Like, the boulder-y part. And I’m thinking, “where are we going? We are supposed to be going to a fruit tree plantation.” So we keep going. And going. And going. Into “vrai” (real) African jungle. And the whole time I’m thinking, “I’m just INVITING a snake to come bite me” (did I mention there was a snake at my house the other day that the nice dude who owns the boutique at the carrefour by my house came, saw it and said “tu as le raison” and killed it with my hoe? No? Well it happened.), as I push branches aside and step in places I can’t see. And nearly fall down embankments off the foot-wide path we are following. He is in front of me with a coup-coup (kind of like a machete with a hooked end), cutting branches and vines and clearing the way through what they call “le foret” but I call the African jungle, or bush.

After what seems like forever we finally get to a stream and he says, “here we are!” and I look around and there are about 20 banana trees and I am thinking this guy is kind of a lunatic to come all the way out here for 20 banana trees he could plant a million other places (he later tells me he cannot abandon this land which is not only the banana trees but also a literal mountainside of bush land his father [deceased] used to plant with rice, because it was claimed by “le vieux” [an old person] so it would be disrespectful not to continue. I asked why his father picked that land and he didn’t seem to know.) So we harvest some bananas and little piments (hot peppers) and he shows me a few orange and avocado tree seedlings and then he says we will descend the other way.

Which was much harder than the ascent. I slipped and fell at least 50 times in total and have all the scratches, bruises and broken pinky toe to prove it (Ousmane says my toe isn’t broken because if it was it would flop around and it just has a nasty bruise on it and hurts so apparently it’s not broken). I also got my clean clothes dirty and aggravated my infected toe (right next to my “broken” toe). Basically I was not prepared for this expedition into the bush, thinking this “plantation” was closer to the fields.

Anyway, after slipping and sliding down the mountain for over an hour (and heroically biting back the frustrated tears that DESPERATELY wanted to come), we get to more level ground and walk through some MORE fields where he points out all his different family members working their plots, explains he wants to plant more fruit trees here, eats some weird paste-looking dish I haven’t seen before (sans invitacion) at his older sister’s plot (whose kid cries and screams at the sight of my white skin), then takes me to his house to deposit the bananas and clean his shoes (at this point we have been voyaging for 4-4.5 hours). After this we FINALLY set off to go back to my house. I was relieved to get home.

I did get some green bananas out of it (which tomorrow I will turn into banana chips) and also got to see some absolutely brilliant (pissed I didn’t bring my camera) views of the mountains, my village and the fields (basically all the countryside surrounding my [what from up there looked pitifully tiny] village). I’ll have to go up there again but I’ll do it when I have a visitor and am prepared for hiking (hear that, dad???).

Thoroughly exhausted and relishing sleep I bid you goodnight.