Friday, January 30, 2009

Clarity

When I look at the sky, those are the times I feel the most clarity.

I came here to figure things out. I came here to be alone, to be reliant on only myself, to figure out WHO I AM as a person. I came here for very selfish reasons.

This experience is hard in different ways than I thought it would be. Than I anticipated. I never anticipated forging the relationships I have now with these people so quickly.

I spend a lot of time looking up. I have been deprived of the sky and its beauty and vastness and simplicity and complications for too long (having lived in LA for the last 5 years). When I look up and see thousands of stars it’s hard for me to pull my eyes away. Something about it speaks to me deep inside in ways I can’t express. And it just puts shit in perspective.

The first thing I see whenever I look up is Orion. I see him EVERY time I look up. He is clear and dominant and stretches across the sky. My eye is drawn to him every time.

I just thought my battles would be within me. Maybe they are.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You description of the little girl and her death really touched me. I can see how much you have come to love the people you are living with. The sense of loss is palpable. I cried as well.

On a larger level, I treasure these blogs. Keep writing them! They make me see Africa through your eyes - and I feel I can share a litte bit of the experience with you. Love you! Mom

Anonymous said...

I, too, love seeing Orion in the sky. He is my favorite constellation & brings me such clarity. I am beyond thrilled for you and the challenges and opportunities you are taking head on.