Well I have been officially accepted as a transfer to the Mali Water & Sanitation program. I am still in denial that I am not going back to Guinea and probably will be until I am installed at my site next week and have a good, long, snotty, ugly cry in my house.
Without my dog.
This whole process has been stressful and awful but somehow we are all making it through in one way or another.
PacMan helps (thanks Dave).
So here's to making the most of Mali!!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Officially Suspended
So. It's over for us in Guinea. We are not going back. I don't really know what to say about it right now other than that we are all now looking at our other options. On va voir.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
"Consolidation" Sucks
It's not so much that I mind being here in PC Mali's training compound with all my colleagues but it SUCKS to not be in Guinea anymore. It's like the old saying: "you don't know what you've got til it's gone." I miss my dog SO MUCH. I left him with Ousmane II and Kareem. My fellow volunteers joke that the people of my village are at this moment enjoying Yogi "brochettes" (basically, meat shish kebobs). Too soon.
We range between laughing and crying pretty frequently and personally I am in a bit of denial that we won't be going back to Guinea because I REALLY want to go back.
But I don't think we are going back. And it SUCKS. It sucks worse than anything else: worse than leaving home for college, worse than transferring schools to different states, worse than summer camp coming to an end. Because the people we left behind became not only our friends but our FAMILY. And we did not get to say proper goodbyes or cry about it (because Guineans don't cry in public). And also because those people we love are now in danger. In an unstable African country in complete confusion. And the more we hear about violence and instability, the more pictures and videos we see, the harder it is to justify to ourselves just leaving them there as if "it isn't our fight."
And it SUCKS abandoning your dog. Who you got when he was the size of your palm. Who can't understand why you left him or what happened. Who stood by you during all the toughest times of your service in an unfamiliar country.
Anyway. The idea now is that if the Guinea program has to be suspended (we should know this early next week), the majority of us (who aren't close to COS) will try to transfer countries. The good news is that there are several countries saying they can take 10-15 of us apiece, so we will all probably be able to find a spot. The bad news is none of those spots will be Guinea. And that's the next part to come to peace with.
We range between laughing and crying pretty frequently and personally I am in a bit of denial that we won't be going back to Guinea because I REALLY want to go back.
But I don't think we are going back. And it SUCKS. It sucks worse than anything else: worse than leaving home for college, worse than transferring schools to different states, worse than summer camp coming to an end. Because the people we left behind became not only our friends but our FAMILY. And we did not get to say proper goodbyes or cry about it (because Guineans don't cry in public). And also because those people we love are now in danger. In an unstable African country in complete confusion. And the more we hear about violence and instability, the more pictures and videos we see, the harder it is to justify to ourselves just leaving them there as if "it isn't our fight."
And it SUCKS abandoning your dog. Who you got when he was the size of your palm. Who can't understand why you left him or what happened. Who stood by you during all the toughest times of your service in an unfamiliar country.
Anyway. The idea now is that if the Guinea program has to be suspended (we should know this early next week), the majority of us (who aren't close to COS) will try to transfer countries. The good news is that there are several countries saying they can take 10-15 of us apiece, so we will all probably be able to find a spot. The bad news is none of those spots will be Guinea. And that's the next part to come to peace with.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
"Consolidation"
Well as I was brushing my teeth tonight I saw a bright flashlight coming hurriedly to my house. At first I thought it was just one of my friends, or acquiaintances because most of my friends know I don’t take visitors after dark, especially if my door is closed. But the flashlight was too bright. And moving too quickly for a Guinean. It was Ian.
I was like what’s up? It’s not uncommon for him to stop by my house if his car has stopped in my town and it didn’t occur to me at first that this couldn’t be a regular visit because he had just gone to John’s site yesterday (in fact my friend Ousmane II said he saw him coming through on a taxi at like 3am). Ian just hung his arms on my window with his face up to the screen and said, “I have some bad news.” And I was like what? And he was like, “You know what I’m going to say.” And I still didn’t. My brain was not working. Then I had a fleeting thought that we might be consolidating to John’s site and the words came out of his mouth: “We’re going to Mali.” He couldn’t stay, as the car had just briefly stopped for him to tell me this so I don’t have any info other than that he is coming with a car in the morning and we are going to go to John’s site and wait for Peace Corps to come pick us up.
I was alright when Ian left but then I got dressed and went to Ousmane II’s house and just started crying when I was telling him we are leaving tomorrow.
I couldn’t speak, really, so he told his mom and she started crying and then we went to the Carrefour and said goodbye to Safi with the keke and Nene Aissatu who I get evening rice from and then went to Caw Ousmane/Aissatu Bah’s house and I couldn’t speak there either so Ousmane II had to tell them. On the way there we saw Alessane and told him.
I’m sad that I won’t get to see Ousmane I before I go. I don’t have a picture of him. This makes me incredibly sad.
I haven’t allowed myself to think about leaving Yogi yet. Ousmane II and Kareem said they will take care of him. Hopefully he will be happy there.
I have a lot of packing to do even though I already did a preliminary pack last week when things started going downhill. Have to get all my food together to give away tomorrow. Everything perishable.
I’m going to cry myself to sleep, I just know it.
I was like what’s up? It’s not uncommon for him to stop by my house if his car has stopped in my town and it didn’t occur to me at first that this couldn’t be a regular visit because he had just gone to John’s site yesterday (in fact my friend Ousmane II said he saw him coming through on a taxi at like 3am). Ian just hung his arms on my window with his face up to the screen and said, “I have some bad news.” And I was like what? And he was like, “You know what I’m going to say.” And I still didn’t. My brain was not working. Then I had a fleeting thought that we might be consolidating to John’s site and the words came out of his mouth: “We’re going to Mali.” He couldn’t stay, as the car had just briefly stopped for him to tell me this so I don’t have any info other than that he is coming with a car in the morning and we are going to go to John’s site and wait for Peace Corps to come pick us up.
I was alright when Ian left but then I got dressed and went to Ousmane II’s house and just started crying when I was telling him we are leaving tomorrow.
I couldn’t speak, really, so he told his mom and she started crying and then we went to the Carrefour and said goodbye to Safi with the keke and Nene Aissatu who I get evening rice from and then went to Caw Ousmane/Aissatu Bah’s house and I couldn’t speak there either so Ousmane II had to tell them. On the way there we saw Alessane and told him.
I’m sad that I won’t get to see Ousmane I before I go. I don’t have a picture of him. This makes me incredibly sad.
I haven’t allowed myself to think about leaving Yogi yet. Ousmane II and Kareem said they will take care of him. Hopefully he will be happy there.
I have a lot of packing to do even though I already did a preliminary pack last week when things started going downhill. Have to get all my food together to give away tomorrow. Everything perishable.
I’m going to cry myself to sleep, I just know it.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Information
So this morning a dude I didn’t know wearing trendy blue camoflauge pants came up to my house with a note from John. He had duct-taped all the edges so no one could peek at it (not that anyone here reads English, anyway) so I knew it had to be about our status.
I wasn’t really freaking out or anything but I was surprised at what a relief it was to get official news rather than guessing and assuming.
Apparently right now (well, as of yesterday when he wrote the note) our status is “Alert”, which is a step below “Standfast”. Apparently at some earlier time, we were on Standfast and John had sent notes but I did not receive it (don’t know about Ian, but if he sent me Ian’s, like he did this time, Ian didn’t get it either). So I’m sending Ian’s copy up to his site with his friend Conte today (hooray for market day!) so hopefully he will get it tonight.
So apparently Paul canceled his race, which is kind of a relief because I didn’t want him to think I was letting him down! It also means John is definitely at his site and can pass us news (when the bush note system works).
I decided not to go to John’s site today, but rather on Sunday which is market day and I could get a taxi there and back in the same day and not have to stay over (guarding the patience of my dog sitters carefully). Plus there might be some straggler avocadoes on the big market day so I’m looking forward to that.
So my friend Alysun just came over and was talking to me about the greve and he is quite riled up, indeed. He told me that yesterday Dadis said it wasn’t him who fired upon the people at the stadium but rather that the military has split into two factions (meaning this other faction is not under his control). Oh, that’s WAY better (can you taste the sarcasm?). Alysun actually did not seem to believe it and went off about something Dadis said about France (I think) and said, “once words come out of your mouth, it’s like a bucket of water. Once it spills on the ground you cannot put it back.”
I think I forgot to mention that while there are over 150 dead, there are something like 2500 people injured. Either beaten, raped or shot.
“Why am I Guinean?” Alysun laments. “The government doesn’t know what they’re doing. We will never be developed. If you know that the money you give for development is going to be boofed, you won’t give it, right?” I explained how President Obama said one of the most important factors in the ability of a country to develop is good governance. Guinea does not and has not had that since the French left over 50 years ago (or even before that – I have no idea how good a governor France was).
Oh would you look at that, just received John’s first note.
Alysun talks about education and how there are people who are 30 years old and can’t write their names. “How will your country become developed if there is no education?”
To me the answer is grassroots. Getting everyone together from the ground up to demand a real democracy. Unfortunately in a country like this, the only way to get a real democracy might be to take it by force.
I wasn’t really freaking out or anything but I was surprised at what a relief it was to get official news rather than guessing and assuming.
Apparently right now (well, as of yesterday when he wrote the note) our status is “Alert”, which is a step below “Standfast”. Apparently at some earlier time, we were on Standfast and John had sent notes but I did not receive it (don’t know about Ian, but if he sent me Ian’s, like he did this time, Ian didn’t get it either). So I’m sending Ian’s copy up to his site with his friend Conte today (hooray for market day!) so hopefully he will get it tonight.
So apparently Paul canceled his race, which is kind of a relief because I didn’t want him to think I was letting him down! It also means John is definitely at his site and can pass us news (when the bush note system works).
I decided not to go to John’s site today, but rather on Sunday which is market day and I could get a taxi there and back in the same day and not have to stay over (guarding the patience of my dog sitters carefully). Plus there might be some straggler avocadoes on the big market day so I’m looking forward to that.
So my friend Alysun just came over and was talking to me about the greve and he is quite riled up, indeed. He told me that yesterday Dadis said it wasn’t him who fired upon the people at the stadium but rather that the military has split into two factions (meaning this other faction is not under his control). Oh, that’s WAY better (can you taste the sarcasm?). Alysun actually did not seem to believe it and went off about something Dadis said about France (I think) and said, “once words come out of your mouth, it’s like a bucket of water. Once it spills on the ground you cannot put it back.”
I think I forgot to mention that while there are over 150 dead, there are something like 2500 people injured. Either beaten, raped or shot.
“Why am I Guinean?” Alysun laments. “The government doesn’t know what they’re doing. We will never be developed. If you know that the money you give for development is going to be boofed, you won’t give it, right?” I explained how President Obama said one of the most important factors in the ability of a country to develop is good governance. Guinea does not and has not had that since the French left over 50 years ago (or even before that – I have no idea how good a governor France was).
Oh would you look at that, just received John’s first note.
Alysun talks about education and how there are people who are 30 years old and can’t write their names. “How will your country become developed if there is no education?”
To me the answer is grassroots. Getting everyone together from the ground up to demand a real democracy. Unfortunately in a country like this, the only way to get a real democracy might be to take it by force.
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